Toasted nori on Pot Noodle, sea salt on supermarket mousse… behold I am the king of snacks

This sort of thing can be habit forming. If you are the kind of person who has a fridge which is 75% sticky bottles of condiments which seemed like a good idea at the time, 20% cured meat products or funky, running cheeses, and 5% spring onions – and all the best people are – the temptation to embellish the humble is all but irresistible. Bog-standard supermarket pizzas always seem to be staring up at me, begging to be given the fairy godmother treatment. I have yet to meet one which could not benefit from a thick smear of that ’nduja I bought last week, and quite a few of those leftover salted anchovies and some thick slices of that taleggio which is almost on the turn. And it would be a shame to let that wilted basil go to waste.