Notice of Security Incident

Please know that we take your privacy very seriously. In fact, that seriousness is why you have no idea who we are or why we have your data. But rest assured: when we purchased your data, we placed it under maximum encryption, separating your home address from MRI images of your most vulnerable bones. Regrettably, an incident occurred involving the part of our network that stores digital replicas of your nude abdomen after you’ve eaten beef pad Thai.