I read the post, puzzled. It was a private note in a very public place. I responded with humor and deflection, but it made me realize something. My father’s old friends always said that I remind them of him. I had spent much of my life trying to be like him: going to the same schools, traveling to the same places, taking up the same hobbies, forever seeking his approval. But I also desperately wanted not to be like him. I didn’t want my discipline to drop. I didn’t want my id to overcome my superego. I didn’t want my life to fall apart at 40.