But the quest for the ideal dog is exactly what the business of doodles is about. Breeders have long been obsessed with dog optimization. They created the Labrador retriever in the Victorian era to help owners hunt. In Germany, also in the 19th century, a man who ran a local dog pound came up with the Doberman pinscher, thinking he could use more muscle at his other job—as a tax collector. But rather than breeding a dog that has a single utility for a subset of people, people engineered the goldendoodle and various other poodle-based hybrids—labradoodles, schnoodles, bernedoodles, cockapoos, on and on—as the ultimate pets for, well, everyone. PetMD deems their temperament a fit for cramped urban apartment dwellers, and insurance company MetLife Inc., in a pitch for pet insurance, claims they’re just fuzzy-brained enough to withstand roughhousing from toddlers. They get rave reviews from DINKs (dual income, no kids), along with the kind of adults who uncomfortably refer to their animals as “fur babies.”