Cashen said his secret coping power was to strike up conversations. “Embrace the leadership role … You’re the glue,” he said. Responding to appalled commenters, Cashen clarified that he went with the flow rather than initiating. This made me wonder: when I fly with my husband (Europe’s most restless traveller), I’m a default middle-seater. Perhaps, buried in a book, with earplugs in, I’m missing out? Could I be forging friendships or at least having an interesting chat?