“I felt this incredible shock, that mass combination of emotions, obviously the horror of what had happened,” he says. “The massive regret of what we’d done.” He was also fearful of what it meant for him and the people he loved – what would his parents think? “There isn’t a simple story in terms of what the emotions were. It was just a roiling mass of different negative emotions. That’s why I think of guilt as being complex, because all of these other emotions were tied into it.”