It was that lyric, ”That’s me in the spotlight / Losing my religion”, that shook me. Hearing that line was the first time I’d even had words for what was happening to me. Then I heard the lyric, “Every whisper of every waking hour / I’m choosing my confessions”, and I began to think about the way the leaders made us write those daily diaries of our feelings, and then hand them over for inspection. I had learned to self-censor, because I was afraid that expressing my real feelings and doubts would result in punishment. I had been “choosing my confessions” for many years.