Since starting to interrogate my own history, I have found that bringing all the versions of one event together tends to be painful. It’s usually because the stories we cling to most Gollum-like are the ones where we were either innocent or victimised: I was the most hurt, the least understood, the most unkindly treated. I think there is that tendency in us all (although I also know I’m particularly guilty of this). So to then hear another person’s version of events provokes a strange kind of recalibration. You might just start to see the whole of the moon. Or at the very least consider a good hard edit on your own starring role in history. In our family, this process was really complicated.