Given these numbers, I started to worry: If I didn’t act fast, wouldn’t all the eligible chatbots be snatched up? No. Unlike humans, A.I. beings are not in finite supply. Some are stock characters, accessible simultaneously to all, like air or the “Happy Birthday” song. The options available on the oddly named platform JanitorAI include a pair of Japanese sisters who’ve been commanded by their father to rub out the mayor, and a pregnant sea-horsey merman who, according to his bio, “grapples with the complexities of impending fatherhood.” With a free account, you can tailor-make the chatbot of your dreams—say, a barista who’s offended when a customer orders skim milk, or a morose life coach.journey-inline-newsletterinline-newsletter