A vast majority of Americans say that political conversation has become less respectful in recent years, the Pew Research Center has found, and almost twice as many people find political disagreement stressful as find it interesting. Most people have a scant interpersonal tool kit for navigating important differences of opinion, whether in politics, family matters or work. When we rely on soaring rhetoric and sound logic to change minds, we often find ourselves surprised that other people don’t want their minds changed. Meanwhile, the mere possibility of disagreement can induce anxiety because we (accurately) expect confrontations to be fruitless, eroding even the closest relationships. Yet, dodging discussions of contentious topics feels cowardly and robs us of connection.